Sunday, August 2, 2009

The 9th of Av

Why do we need to mourn something that happened thousands of years ago? Why do we need to sit on the floor and cry as we read of the tragedies of our people? Why must we make ourselves sick reading of mothers, out of their minds with starvation, eating their beloved children- of people expiring in the streets and of our holy city burning?

Why must we fast, not bathe, wear leather shoes or be intimate?

Why are we to feel as if the destruction of Jerusalem is happening now and to us? Why must we shed tears? Why dedicate an entire 25 hours to mourning something that we've never had? What are we meant to get from it all?

It is said that to understand light, one must experience darkness, that to know joy, one must experience pain.

I find that most in this generation aren't so interested. Why know pain, sadness, hurt when you can tranquelize, anesticize, pop a pill, avert your eyes, turn the channel? It has come to the point that most don't live in reality.

It used to be that television was to escape reality, but at this point- there is nothing to escape and so now, the TV is turned on for reality. Ah, but this reality is safe because it is not my feelings being hurt, back being stabbed or heart breaking.

Virtual Reality games are getting realer and realer and I wonder- WHAT ABOUT LIFE? Dont play Tennis on the Wii- Go play tennis! Don't slay dragons and rescue princesses virtually- pick a cause to be your dragon and fight- make an actual difference- rescue orphans, battered women or volunteer to teach a child to read!

Complacency is the default mode of 99.9% of the world. The other .1 actually try to matter and to return their souls more complete than they got them. To leave an imprint, to do something they are proud of.

Since when has feeling- really feeling- become something to avoid, to nuetralize?

It is during these moments of true joy, pain, sorrow, love, helplessness that we can grasp that elusive connection, that trueness that we all have, yet rarely connect to. It is during the throat choking, heart breaking moments that we see that the daily ins and outs are nothing and that the rare moments of deep emotion are the ones that make us who we are.

It is true that not knowing hard times makes it impossible to really appreciate the good. A life of tranquility may be easy and enjoyable, but it is not life. Life is where we come to create ourselves, to see what we are made of and to be our best. It is the silversmith's fire before the piece is molded. A lump of raw silver is tranquil, but will never be a masterpiece. A human being unchallenged, unthinking, unmotivated will at best not do harm.

As it is our nature to stay at rest, we need motivation to be foisted upon us, to have contemplation and emotion madated at times. We MUST read the accounts and bring ourselves to tears. We MUST think about the unpleasant and the possible.

Like the heart stopping crack of thunder in the dead of night. Like the car accident avoided by millimeters. Like not finding your kid in the store- these moments throw reality at us and hold us down to stare at it.

it is our choice to look away or to grow

and it is because we look away that the tragedy of so long ago is till ours today